Mind Your Diction, Joyce!

I have recently been attending phonics classes at work. Today the importance of diction was made apparent to me through this hillarious exchange:

*bleedlebleee*
*bleedlebleee*

ME: Hello?

CALLER: Hello, this is Joyce here. We are having a howfcreening promotion at Country Heights.

M: House? No am not interested cos I just bought an apartment.

J: No no we're not selling apartments. This is about hewfcreening. Hewf! Howf!

M: Yes I know but I just bought an apartment so I cannot afford to buy a house!

J: Not house! LISTEN CAREFULLY! We are providing free hewfscreening!

M: House cleaning? I don't need that my apartment is small and I can clean myself.

J: Not house cleaning! House screening!

M: How is that again? Burglar alarms?

J: Hewf screening... for your hewf!

M: Ooooh HEALTH SCREENING! No I don't need that, I...

*click*

So rude you are Joyce! But I was giggling to myself all the way home.